You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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