PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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