she was so not down for the gang bang
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
