He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
