the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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