let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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