I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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