the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
