im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
