So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
