no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think my vagina is haunted
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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