Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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