Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
