K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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