I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
