i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
