you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
