also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
