The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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