Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
too bad you live with your parents still
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
