'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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