i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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