I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
