when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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