My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
