Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
