i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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