I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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