I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
