I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
