I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
