sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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