so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
