I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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