I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
