I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
