You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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