Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
