i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
