dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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