I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
