I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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