No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
