I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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