It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
where are my eyebrows?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
