covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
