what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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