first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
