just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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