he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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